Well what do you know, I learned something this weekend. It turns out my husband is a pretty smart guy. I did know that before this past weekend but I was reminded or reawakened to it again.
For those of you who know our family you understand the particular challenges life has presented over the past year. Our youngest daughter Olivia was diagnosed with a brain cancer at age two this past summer. Though I feel that we successfully navigated her through the treatment, it definitely left its scars on the family. We are all best described as fragile. Sometimes I am surprised by how easily I can be thrown off course by the slightest inconvenience. This past weekend Rob and I had planned to go away for a couple of nights to recharge and just be with each other. As the weekend approached it became obvious that work would not allow us to go for two nights so we reconfigured and adapted our plans. I was still planning on having a great dinner in the city on Friday and leaving early Saturday morning before the kids woke up to avoid having to parent anyone and avoid any potential sabotage. Friday night was lovely. We walked into town through the pouring rain and had a soaking wet but lovely Italian meal. The bonus of walking allowed us to indulge in a great bottle of red and we came home really happy. The dripping came shortly after my head hit the pillow. The ceiling in the hall was leaking water in two spots. Bummer. The next mornings plans were appropriately delayed to assess and temporize the leaking roof problem. I did not handle this well at all. At one point I was sobbing in the bathroom and feeling sorry for myself that I wasn’t going to get away. I was shocked at how mentally unprepared I was to do anything but indulge myself this weekend. The notion of making lunch and dinner for the family instead of eating our way through Point Reyes was simply overwhelming. Fragile, that is the word.
Rob’s approach was slightly different. Though he recognized the significance of the leak he could see life beyond it. He made calls and arrangements while I sobbed in the shower and within a few hours of our original plan we were heading north on highway 1. Instead of dragging him down into my feeling sorry for myself abyss, I just listened to his plan and followed. The rest of the weekend went pretty much the same way. It was wonderful, restful, and useful.
Sometimes listening, really listening, to others helps you to better solve their problems. Sometimes, it helps you solve your own.